God's punishment

By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return

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I always had considered that working is a God's punishment. The work is so horrible, that you even got payed for doing it. But there are from works to works. It is not written that you should feel miserable while doing your job, but most of the people do feel in that way.

Then, you have the people that really likes what they do, but frankly, I do not believe them. Why, maybe you would ask... the answer is plain and simple: Nothing being done by obligation would be ever enjoyable. Nor even having sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt, nor eating a lot of junk food. Maybe at the beginning you would feel awesome, but once you make up your mind, that actually you are not doing that because you want it, but because you are forced it lost all its charming.

Thats why I refuse to be a software programmer, at least one being payed for doing that. I really like a lot to do the analysis and design a working solution as well as coding... and I rather not spoiling that, because right now, I just code when I wan to, and for what I want to.

I guess all the software programmers do feel the same, but they need to earn some money so at the end, they start hating what they used to love. They popular knowledge prays ?There is one step from hate to love?, and I guess it also works conversely.

Thinking about it, I realized that this is the case for almost all the creative works, call them writing, painting, composing music, cinema, tv, theater, radio, etc. When you are not working because you are expressing yourself, but because you must deliver a product in order to get some payment then you would bring something that maybe would not satisfy you, but it would be easy to commercialize.

So thats the source of all that commercial music, painting, writing, products in general. Creators frustrated because of their job. Then there would be a chance that they do something just for love to the art, not because they expect any money in return; and that is so romantic, beautiful... but also tend to be difficult to be understood by the masses.

Six months ago I was thinking that finding a new job would be hard. At the beginning I had some bad experiences, and undoubtedly there was a fear of being a fraud. But at the end everything got well. Right now I have an acceptable job, that I do not like it so much so I am out of the risk of starting hating something that I love, but also it is something that makes me feel comfortable. But... the damn destiny refuses to give me a break, and keeps offering me new jobs, apparently better opportunities, that hides the risk of start hating to do something that right now give me peace to my mind.

So, what should I do?

I have heard a story about two monks that after visiting a family that supported their living on the production of their cow, the ancient one, secretly killed the animal. A year later, the monks visited the family and they saw that the farm was bigger because they were forced to search for a better (not easier) way of living that the cow was providing them. The moral of the story was Detect your cow and kill it, in order of being a better man.... it also could be If it you happen to see a pair of monks throw them big stones, or they would kill your cow.

Anyway, every time that I decided to kill my cow , at the beginning the things got a little nasty but after that everything got fine. I should have learn that killing cows is not so bad... but also I fear that my luck would be over anytime.

So I am again with the dilemma/trade-off: To be comfortable or to be better. As always I know the answer, but I do not like it.